Strong

I've had a pretty hard time these past few weeks...

It's felt like God wanted to work on me a little extra this time around. 

You know how they say He's a potter, and we're the clay? 

Well I think we were at the spot where He had to fold me and reshape me because, 

wow, did things get bad. We're in the reshaping stage now...I hope. 

See, I had my progress questioned about a week ago. 

I was told my anxiety hasn't gotten better, and I need to "work on myself". 

It was the worst thing someone could have said to me. 

Because every little step I have taken...every huge step...a jump and a crawl and a run...

felt like it was absolute crap to them. 

You know, the usual, "We all get anxiety, too, but you can't use it as an excuse." 

(If anyone actually reads this, and you have ANY mental illness, don't believe things like this. It's ignorance wrapped in stupidity and arrogance. It's expectations for you to be something you are not. It's their lack of wanting to understand.)

I believe these hard times are all part of God's plan though...

you know, the folding and reshaping thing.

yeah, I've had a dark cloud over my head for 10 days now. 

Yeah, I feel down, very down. 

Yeah, I have had to take my Xanax a couple times already to prevent the anxiety attacks.

 But, all that has just had me clinging to God...

Like a little girl clinging to her father.

God said there will be struggles in this life, but it'll all work out for my good. I've just gotta get through the reshaping, the learning, and the growing up. 

I can't let people's words hurt me so much. I've gotta be strong.

I've gotta *stay strong, 

because regardless of what people will say of me or do to me, 

I cannot let them bring me down. 

Because I am fearfully and wonderfully made 

by the Almighty creator God, and nothing, 

NOTHING can bring me down 
as long as I'm in the shadow of His wing.