Home

I'm moving back home in about 30 days, give or take, and I'm feeling good about it, mostly. I've been living only 4 minutes away from school for a year, now, and I dread the hour drive I'll have to make soon. 

I didn't want to move home. Although, I know it was the stubborn pride in me and maybe even the disappointment in myself. 

"You're 23 years old, Nicole. If you go home now, you'll be taking 100 steps back. Think about what everyone will think. They'll think you failed. They'll think you couldn't handle the real world and are running back home to mom and dad. They'll talk about how you'll be losing your freedom, that your parents will control you and your life again..."

Some of these have actually been said to me when I've told friends that I'm moving back home. I get why people would say these things. I get it because I've thought them myself, but I know that's the wrong mentality. When I talked to my dad, he said that he really thinks this'll be a fresh start for me. Now that my mind is better, I can take care of my finances, weight and God. (He didn't say that last sentence. but it crossed my mind when we talked.) I told him about my worries, how I felt like I'd lose my freedom. He said I was an adult now, and I won't need permission to do the things I want. Of course, I still have to respect house rules and (UGH) wash dishes. But, it won't be like I was thinking. 

I thought a whole lot about it, and I decided it is the best thing for me. I miss my family. Seeing them only once or twice a month sucks. I know they miss me too...well maybe not my brother, but I think he may secretly miss me (haha). And, it really will be better money wise. I won't have to pay rent or utilities. Once I'm better on my feet, money wise, I'll started helping them again, but this past year really has been tough. I have barely afforded bills and just enough food for me and my kitty. So, home cooking will fatten me up, hopefully! Plus, I like money, so you can see why this has been killing me. 

I NEED THOSE SHOES AND PURSES AND CLOTHES THAT I DON'T ACTUALLY NEED!

I know it'll be a pain in the butt to drive so much and living an hour away from my boyfriend will be hard, but this really is the best thing for me right now. I'm pretty excited.

I'm ready to go home.