I saw the video above, today, and had to share it. It brought tears to my eyes. I understood this young woman's pain. I had flashbacks to specific moments in my depression....It is powerful and so well executed. She explained it so well...the tears in her eyes, the shaking arms, the analogies, the pleading tone of voice...and yet I know it's not describing everything that is felt. It's impossible, at least for me.
(I just wanted to say how truly blessed I am to have parents who have tried to understand what I go through. My mom deals with anxiety, too. My dad tries to dissect all the little pieces that I share. I am grateful for that and for the help, love, and support they show me. I know not everyone has that...)
No explanation I give will ever truly describe what I feel everyday, in those moments of fear. But, I try. And, I fail miserably. It's just hard to understand for people who have never gone through a panic attack or depression. Even then, EVERY situation is different, and I will never experience a panic attack like my friend does or my coworker does, and vice versa. At least, with the people who get it, they get it. (haha) They understand you on a deeper level, for the most part.
And then there's those who think their's is worse...
I had an encounter with this customer at work. She came in for a specific reason I cannot disclose because... HIPPA. Anyways, long story short, she was talking about how bad her anxiety is. She has had it for years and years, and nothing worked. So, I told her I totally related because I have had it for forever, too.
AND SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY: NO YOURS DOESN'T SEEM TOO BAD. MINE IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN THAT.
Excuse me....how do you know? Were you there when I was hyperventilating on the break room floor, just 20 feet from where you're standing? Just because the antidepressant has worked wonders on me? Just because you're on 2mg of Xanax 3 times a day, and you have tremors?!?!?!? Oh, right, because you work at a clinic? NO. Because I've learned how to work with my illness and you haven't yet.
I was furious. I wanted to tell her, "Who are you to tell me my battle is nothing?" Of course, I didn't say that. But, oh did it bother me.
Please, don't ever demean somebody's struggle. And, I don't mean, let them mope and whine, but, acknowledge that you may never understand and encourage them to keep fighting. Because if you do the first thing, they'll never tell you what's going on ever again.
Why would we? When all they're going to get is:
"There are people dying from real illnesses. You just gotta look at the bright side and stop being so sad".
We'll just probably close ourselves off even more.
Just know that, whatever you are going through, you don't have to explain it. And, if you do? Know that people may not understand, but there are people out there (like me) who will try. Remember that other people hurt, too. You're not alone in the war waging in your mind, muscles, bones, blood, cells, etc. And lastly, lean on God. Because He will be there to comfort and understand when there is no one else. He'll always be there.
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